Yes and Amen

God's promises are yes and amen!  That's right what he promises He will bring to pass.  That's a relief!  I was so bogged down in repentence with the highlight on my sin I almost forgot how much He loves me and how very gracious He is.  It makes me smile just to think of it.

I actually prayed for my husband today for his coming and for his day.  That is a huge step forward for me.

I had a light and airy day today with Des - we have such a sweet connection.  It almost reminds me of me back then only she is so much more centered and secure then I ever was. 

Dune and I did a late night catch up.  It is always amazing in the wee small hours when all are sleeping there is always one that wants to talk and go deep with Aunt Kelilah.  I just love these guys!!!!!

Good night, my destiny awaits me!

Dear God

I was terribly lost when the galaxies crossed!   When you rode in on your cloud to find me.

 I was ready to sell out but in your love and mercy you were gracious enough to keep drawing me and to bring me to repentence and deliverance. 

 Who am I?  I am yours!

The flesh has to suffer you said.  And so you called me to a fast that you had chosen.  At first I pulled back and then I said, have it all even if it costs me everything I am willing.  

I pray I am now a vessel ready for your use.

O'h how He loves me

I will start training tomorrow for my awaited destiny

You were once a child of innocence

Lord I had no idea we were going back so far.....to my childhood.... you want to heal me....and use me for your kingdom.....OK....I am yours now.....you want it all.....I know there is another side to all this by faith and you keep sending me encouragement with more demands to go on....

Last night it was Tavienne's story and then you had Rosie tell me her story. Their faith made me feel so weak....they had come through the fire shinning with peace and great hope for the future.  They believe you and trust you even after having suffered great losses and pain...they are both at peace and I see you in them... They give me purpose beyond myself in being here....I feel needed and loved!!!!

Today was Temple and with that came my ride there with the older kids.... once again jamming to the music....  I am starting to love one of their favorites Owl City.  The group is so whimsical and I just love their light and airy sound....  It feels like an escape back to innocence......

Finally

1. Really!  I wanted to get back to you but I get so DISTRACTED!!!  There's a battle going on between good and evil whoo whoo I'm not given up now.  Pretty much the story the past two weeks I skipped out.  I went home for two days with Brandy and the baby.  I  picked up a new car and had my hair colored, cancelled my trip to Calif. and I am now back in VA.  This is all about my attempts to follow His voice and trying to stay on His mission and not my own.
2.  We went to Temple today to celebrate Rosh Hoshana.  We took the new car and jammed all the way there with the music blairing.  It was a great way to bring in the Jewish New Year.  I just love these kids.
3. I have a sense that Dave finally received my lost Dear John letter and will now disappear off the radar screen.  I actually have mixed feelings about that but some relief too.  I am so looking forward to the deliverance that has been delayed but coming soon as it is all part of the same issues.  I do not know why those numbers are randomly appearing tonight but I just don't feel like fighting them and besides who cares.
4. I have a sense that things are changing here.  I am not so much feeling like a guest but becoming more and more a part of the family.  I see each relationship going deeper and fuller.  I like that!  Here's to a blessed, obedient destiny in the coming year.......

Flee and Pursue

I keep saying that am waiting on God but is it He who is waiting on me?  Yesterday was a little tough.  I discovered that I can not listen to romantic music it actually sent me fleeing out of a store.  I couldn't wait to come home to my safe place.  I went to bed teary-eyed after I asked God to please  grace me with His desire and put it in me that I will have a knowing and not just from others for his direction.  I will follow you to the lost and the broken. 

7:30 bible study and these late nights are catching up with me. Yet it is so valuable that I would not want to miss.  The scripture along with the discussion is always worth getting up for.

Got to give back some today.  Made tuna for all of us and needed the assistance of one of the guys to mix it because of the huge quantity.  I am use to one and we are 19.  I also did a market run today and I had to laugh because I needed to buy enormous amounts of everything and it made me smile.  Sat in on the homeschooling and learned a lot about my body in the science class it was so fascinating.  Tonight was Gilana's birthday and she turned 2.  Her mommy Emily is expecting a baby any time now.  If I am still here I may get to see the delivery as she will have it with a midwife here at the house.  Lana, as we all call her needed shoes for the winter so Brandy and I were able to find them for her along with a sweet little dress for her birthday.

Trying not to think about Dave.  I miss him and pray he is well.  

I am so blessed to be here as I await my destiny, thank you Lord God

My Obedience You Will Have

Spent the day close to Him.  Started out with family bible study and then I listened to the deliverance and healing tape from my first trip.  It took over two hours and it was filled with one healing after another.  Deception and control are the two that come to mind just now.  I went our briefly and heard some romantic music in a story that sent me running back home.  I could not handle it as it had such a strong pull on my emotions I actually had to leave the store.  

I have been surviving on little sleep but doing well-what a blessing!  I had no plans for the evening of course so I prayed what would you like Lord God?  Almost immediately I found myself in a spiritual discussion with two of the men in the house and here is the heart of it:  

God Blesses Obedience

He does not care if you feel convicted or not He just wants your obedience Period.  Both men shared their stories.  Max was obedient without ever knowing what he was saved from He just did't want to suffer loss.  

Rem Jr.'s life was changed dramatically as a result of leaving a a worldly crowd and it has been a great testimony.  I love the men in this house they truly understand that they are DEAD to sin.  What an encouragement  they are.  Brandy took my feathers out yesterday and today she felt convicted by God to remove the tiny diamond from her nose in part as a result of my feathers.  She realized it created an image made by her not God.  Everyday is a another story here of iron sharpening iron.  Living my destiny, Kelilah

My First Act Of Obedience

Yes, I took the feathers out of my hair today because He said so and that's that.  Actually it's because He's revamping my image into His image. The operating system I created has to go on every level even how I look.  Judah said now that I have submitted He is not going to leave me hanging.  

God I am trusting you for that. 

Today has been non stop being ministered to and alot of it is a retake on what God already said and some of what He is saying now.  I will blog it as it all comes down as it too much for now.

The family is complete and back together as Dunemis has returned from a 5 month detainment.  I loved him immediately as with the others - just can't help loving this family.  We met tonight at the refrigerator and knew we were meant to chat.  It was an amazing encounter!!!!!!  He is so gifted in the spirit and spoke the things of God to me.    Here are the highlights: 

If I remain obedient and I will He has great plans for me that will unfold quickly in the next few months  Much ministry that will take place in Israel and it is there that I will meet my one and only husband that God has chosen for me.  In the mean time I am to remain here in Va to prepare and allow God to reveal and heal my wounds.  

Sweet Dreams my destiny awaits me!